The Healing & Empowerment Series
Is it not surprising that despite the stress, pain and sadness surrounding many relationships , women are found in the thick of things , sticking it out and weathering the storm , so to speak? Looking at some unions, marriages and just plain associations , it is clear that they were doomed from the beginning. To start with communication is non-existent. It’s either one or two words and if more are said , it will be degenerating into a fight or war of words. One wonders how on earth did these two people come to start this relationship if they cannot hold a simple conversation. Such toxic unions are common all over the world and they would make a stranger cringe . With no communication, it means the couple are pulling in opposite directions which means planning together and building a successful home is impossible . Usually children are used as brickbats in the home and end up torn between two warring factions. Intimacy is a thing of the past and if any coupling happens its usually a wham-bam-thank you mum kind of thing with no deeper feeling or the sensuality that should surround such activities. And yet, you find many women, if not the majority fighting it out in those relationships. Why?
Culture: First of all we must understand where we are coming from in order to know where we are. Culture, especially the African culture has not been lenient to the female gender. Women have always been regarded as objects of men’s pleasure, second class citizens who were considered minor all their lives. It is only recently with the help of feminism that women began to be recognized as majors after a certain age and though equality is still a long way away, strides have been made in that direction too. It is against this background that women have remained disempowered from choosing better . So if your whole clan has pushed you into a relationship which massages their ego and serves to provide a certain identity, then you are doomed. There is nowhere to run to, even your mother will tell you that is exactly what marriage is about and just like her you should stick it out, your father will simply disown you if you dare leave that union.
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Next we will discuss religion so stay tuned…
Mosline Farawu is a writer of spiritual and intellectual articles with a bias toward women's issues. She lives in Zimbabwe, Africa and is a mother, wife and career woman. She aspires to become a successful coach and counsellor to other women.