Are You in An Abusive or Violent Relationship? Were you in one? Do You Need Healing ?
If you answered "Yes" or "Maybe" to the above question, then you need help. You need to talk to someone or if you're not very sure, then you need to read more about this topic on this webpage.
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The Face of Domestic Violence
A case of Domestic Violence -Have you seen today's paper?
There was a story of a celebrity singer- cum- businessman who was dragged to
court by his estranged wife. The story makes interesting reading because it clearly paints the picture of domestic violence and what stuff the perpetrators are made of. It is usually the burden of the victim to convince the courts that the case has merits. This is usually made difficult by the fact that the culprit does not see himself as such and actually thinks the victim is the one with problems.
So after the wife exposed him as being an abusive man and filed a protection order in the civil court; this celebrity had the audacity to turn around and accuse the wife of cheating on him. He felt that he is the victim and is justified in his actions. The wife accuses him of battering her with open fists in the four years that they have been married. She also claims that he did not just assault her alone but also the house helpers working for the family. How can a man extend violence to his house helpers? This shows that this guy is a control freak who likes things done a certain way in his household. He rules his roost with an iron fist.
Non Stop violence
“I can take it no more,” pleaded the wife before the magistrate. “Respondent was in the habit of regularly beating me with open hands, fists, boots and an electric cable. These beatings would extend to the housemaids over petty housekeeping issues.” –The Daily News (8 February 2013, pp2). What a barbaric act! This man took advantage of his wife’s age, her reliance on him for financial support and the housemaids would obviously be in a worse off situation than their mistress. So he wielded the almighty power knowing fully well that his subordinates would not stand up to him.
However, one lucky day while this celebrity was busy running his affairs elsewhere, the poor wife managed to escape with her children and sought refuge at her mother’s house. From there she launched her pursuit of justice through the courts to bring the perpetrator to book and to force him to maintain his family. Most women suffer in their homes because they are controlled and brainwashed to an extent that they see no other way of getting out. Abusers are also good at diminishing their victim’s self-worth and causing animosity between their victim and anyone who might potentially help. But for this woman, her lucky day came and she took no chances and bolted.
A house full of prostitutes
Now, it is interesting to note this man’s counter –accusations before the court. He goes on a barrage of words accusing his wife of prostitution. He doesn’t stop there but also accuses the wife’s sisters and mother of being prostitutes too. So he paints a whole picture of prostitutes which makes one wonder how he got himself involved with a family of prostitutes in the first place. This is typical of abusive people; they never stop finding fault in their victims. To them every action they take is justified and the victim deserves
whatever treatment they get. He even claims to have temporarily relocated to a
hotel in order to concentrate on his studies, without providing for the family upkeep of course. Thus he expected to find his house in order and everyone happy upon his return. How selfish of him, neglecting his family while pursuing his own interests. So it is that in most households, domestic violence persists despite laws trying to protect victims.
It is therefore important for society, government and the legal system to protect victims of domestic violence as well as rehabilitate offenders so that their mindset is corrected otherwise more people will fall victim .
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