Children: Oh my word!! We require children to complete us, to give us joy, we ask for them and we receive them…but what we do with them!! Have you ever heard the story of the woman who stayed put in an unhappy marriage because of the Children? What was the price those children had to pay to compensate for their mother’s action, or lest her spirit forever tormented them? I believe it is a lame excuse when a woman says she is weathering the storm because of the children, and then turns around and demands compensation from the children for her sacrifice; when in fact if she could dig deeper it was not even the children at the center of the decision. But it was a self-serving decision.
Unfortunately, we have all accepted it sympathetically and admire such a woman who gives up her happiness for the children. However, my question is, is she not deriving her happiness in seeing the children (the fruit of her womb, the desire of her heart) grow in a protected, well nurtured environment? In other words, she was wise to shift her focus toward what made her happy in a relationship. Her relationship with her husband was doomed but the children became a source of joy, so she stayed.
Are we not all willing to pay the price to hold onto our source of joy? So is it not true that many women stay in unhappy relationships because their happiness lies in caring for their children in what resembles a family unit, though the unit may be toxic to the children (but that’s a different topic). Their desire is not to raise motherless and fatherless children but to create that complete learning environment for the children. It is a desire rooted in the belief that God created families which are the beginning of all life systems and thus are vital for all human beings. Who doesn’t want to be part of a family?
Finally we get to look at choices...
Mosline Farawu is a writer of spiritual and intellectual articles that interrogate and shed light on women's issues . She lives in Zimbabwe, Africa and is a mother, life coach and entrepreneur.